Several years ago I realized that I needed to work on the feeling of abandonment. This is something that stemmed from my early childhood. That feeling carried me through adulthood and interfered with relationships. As I attempted to nurture and create bonds in friendships and partnerships feeling of abandonment would unconsciously show up and my attempts to hold onto these relationships would be met with resistance and heartache. I didn't understand what was wrong. I blamed myself and I blamed others.

Not long ago I had an 'aha' moment. It might seem obvious for you when I tell you what the 'aha' was but it has taken me several years, reading several books and working with teachers to uncover it. I'll get to it in a moment.

I met Janet Straightarrow a few years ago when I was called to study Shamanism. I took Janet's Soul Shamanism course a few years ago. I was working through a few things and one of them was this issue. This issue of being afraid that people would leave me and not love me. I learned techniques from Janet that helped me to connect with my soul and sprit and clear out what no longer served me. During one of our guided journeys, I heard the words loud and clear 'You abandoned yourself'! It was a moment of uncovering the truth.

All this time I'm trying to overcome this feeling, or work through it I realized that I had the answer. It was me who abandoned myself. By blaming others, by relying on others to make me feel WHOLE, I gave up my own power! Holy S__! Obvious, right? It wasn't to me. The message became loud and clear after years of doing the work. When I turned the attention inward to heal parts of myself, I became removed from those old feelings of being abandoned. As long as I could turn to myself with love, acceptance and compassion I would never be alone.

'You gotta do the work', Janet Straightarrow says on the podcast. She's right. Don't be afraid of the work. It's okay if it uncovers truths. That's what it's about. Do the work so that we move forward with clarity and levity.

Doing the work isa continuous journey where we uncover hidden parts of ourselves and learn new ways to live our life more truthfully and authentically. For me, I want to live my life without any 'anchors' holding me back. Nothing that feeling 'heavy'. Doing the work has been a part of my life. I read self-help books, do Reiki on myself EVERY DAY and meditate regularly. I'm not afraid to do the work and to uncover things about myself that need a bit of polishing.

I really enjoyed having Janet on Chat Off The Mat podcast. She has so much wisdom and guidance.

Here is an excerpt from the interview.

You can find the entire Video here on my youtube channel or you can listen to this and any of the other podcast episodes by clicking HERE.